So…..there’s this boy, Peter. We started talking last
September, and although I often seem to OVERshare about my personal life on
this blog, I’ve been pretty mum about this fella. At least online. Part of the reason I’ve been quiet is because
I wasn’t really sure what to call him. I HATE the word “boyfriend” as it just
conjures up memories of 15 year old girls draped over these prepubescent boys
who just KNEW they were going to be together forever……or at least until the
homecoming dance was over. I know it’s
ridiculous. Plenty of people….just as old as myself, have boyfriends. But
seriously, even as I write this, I give a little involuntary shudder. Just can’t help it. So I have had this….”Friend”
Peter, for a while now.
The other reason I’ve been quiet is because as much as I’ve
liked this guy from the beginning…..the odds just seemed against us. Different cultures, different upbringings,
different way we’ve always viewed the world. How could this possibly
work?!?! For that reason, while a lot of
my friends and family knew I was talking to someone, I decided to keep Facebook
out of the loop, as I didn’t need the ole’ “Oh…sorry.” “Don’t worry, there’s
someone out there for you” kind of comments, if by chance the status changed
back to single. No. Thank. You. (One of
my friends eventually did hack into my Facebook account and change my
relationship status….after it had become more an issue of me digging my heels
in and refusing to change it simply because I’m ridiculously stubborn).
I come back to America every year for 2 months. This trip
home was a pretty big deal because not only was I bringing my new daughter, but
my new…..friend….as well. Time to spend
some time with the fam!! Peter met my
parents last March when they came over for a medical team. Boy was that awkward! During that week, my parents, Peter and I sat
down for the big “talk.” At the end of
the discussion, my parents gave the go ahead, but asked that we wait for 2
years before getting married. (Yes, I know I was 31 years old at the time, had
lived overseas by myself for years, and was a mother….but I still wanted my
parents’ approval. They have loved me longer than anyone else and I trusted
that they had my best interests at heart. I really wanted them on board with
the second biggest decision I’d ever make!)
So while Peter had met them before, this trip would take it
to another level, as they’d get a chance to really know him. It didn’t take him long to win my family
over, and with this final piece of the puzzle in place, I finally felt ready to
say…ok. Let’s get married. (He was
pretty confident from the beginning that this would be the outcome. I needed
some time!)
My dad wanted to start the 2 years ticking in March of 2013,
the first time they met. Since Peter and
I had been talking since the previous September (2012) (or beginning of October
if you want to be a stickler and don’t count the phone conversations that
consisted of “I’m not interested….please stop calling me” as dating) I pointed
out that he was adding on quite a few months. Like six! Since neither Peter or I are spring chickens,
I channeled my inner Sierra Leonean and bartered until we compromised on January of 2013. Plenty of time to figure this whole thing out.
So we came home this year and have been having a great time.
It’s been so nice because I knew that we worked really well, together in Sierra
Leone, but had some lingering questions of what our relationship would look
like in America. (Although we plan on
living in Sierra Leone, you never know what will happen). A few weeks ago, I had a lightbulb moment
where it just hit me. This guy is
incredible. He loves Jesus so much, is so
kind, so patient…… and just…so great! I love
being around him….and want to be around him forever! J So that was it. I was ready to marry him.
Up until that point, all of our discussions of the future
had been “IF we get married…….” Now
it changed to “When…..” But we still had
a long time. I’d managed to finagle the
potential wedding date from January to November (thanks to the million holidays
around that time) but we were still looking at a long time. Since we didn’t
want to be engaged for more than six months, we were thinking of getting
engaged in the spring or summer. I’m marrying a Sierra Leonean. They don’t do big
proposals in Sierra Leone like they do here.
Since I’m kind of a no frills girl, I told Peter (and probably even more
importantly, my sister) that I didn’t need a big proposal when the time
came. It would just be weird.
My birthday was on Tuesday.
A few weeks ago, my sister started talking about wanting to give me a
birthday surprise. She wasn’t sure what
we’d do but when I started getting excited about it, she’d caution me that it
was NOT a big deal. Birthday surprise
turned into “Birthday Day Long Surprise.”
I pumped Peter constantly for information but he was a fortress and I
couldn’t get anything out of him!
My day started out with an 8:30am massage. Massages aren’t something I get regularly
(only when someone else buys it for me) but I LOVE them. All the hours on that horrible road to my
village are washed away in an hour of good massaging. After the massage I
opened up my first envelope that sent me to a spa where I met my sister and we
had manicures and pedicures. I love
pedicures but had never had a manicure because I can’t stand the feel of the
nail file. However, since they’d put all this work into the surprise, I decided
to bite the bullet. ( My self-consciousness made me feel the the need to
explain to the manicurist why one of my middle fingers was slanted---crafting
accident last year---and why she couldn’t really touch the tip of my thumb
because it might start bleeding again –cooking accident the day before).
After our pampering, Peter met me at the salon….and he
looked hot!! J All dressed up in the suit we’d bought him a
couple weeks ago. But I was confused.
Why in the world was he in a suit? I
always tease him for being way more fancy than me and would only let him bring
3 pairs of “fancy pants” to America because we’re just more casual here. Although I was surprised, when I thought
about it, I just chalked it up to him “being Sierra Leonean” and thought my
birthday was a good excuse to try out his new suit.
The next envelope I opened said that one of Elisabeth’s
favorite things to do with Aaron is take a nice drive with some warm drinks.
She enclosed a giftcard for Starbucks and directions to a location I’d never been
to before. I started driving north on
I5 and kept asking Peter where we were going. He looked genuinely confused as
well. He asked if we were going to my church in Jefferson, but I told him we
were headed in the opposite direction.
We kept driving and after Peter kept mentioning a church that I liked, I
finally figured out that she was probably sending us to one of these old,
historic churches I’d seen online.
We got lost, turned around a few times but eventually found
where we were supposed to go. The
directions on the card said to look around, so we did. I was really into the
history of the church so started reading all the little placards. After we had read everything at the church I
suggested we move to the historic little cabin nearby. He said, “maybe in a bit” which I remember
thinking was odd because there was really nothing else to do at the church. He
was talking a LOT (he’s usually not much of a talker), saying all sorts of
sweet things about why he loves me. He
seemed kind of nervous. He mentioned
seeing a sign in my sister’s house talking about a family turning a house into
a home and said that he wanted to make a home with me. At this point we were in front of the doors
of the church and he took my hands and told me that he wanted to marry me. I
said, “I know. I already told you that I’m ready to marry you…..” Then he got
down on his knees …..which confused me…. so I got down on my knees too. He pulled out a ring and asked me to marry
him. Now that part shocked me. It wasn’t time for this yet!
Sidenote: When my grandma passed away, her sons gave me her
engagement ring at the funeral. My mom had been keeping it for me and when
Peter and I started discussing marriage, I pulled it out to show him. I went to look for it later that week and
couldn’t find it. I SWORE I had put it back right after I showed Peter, but
couldn’t find it anywhere. I searched high and low, asked my mom and sister…but
none of us could find it. I was sure I’d
lost it ….somehow, because why would anyone else be looking at it? When Peter showed me the ring, I was shocked,
super excited, but also SUPER relieved that I hadn’t lost my grandma’s ring!!
How could they have let me suffer like that!?!?!?
After the niceties that I assume are pretty typical after
someone gives you a ring and says they want to spend the rest of their life
with you, I made the comment that we’d be engaged for a long time!! That’s when
Peter dropped the next surprise that my parents had agreed to move it up a
couple months. We could get married in
the summer (which in my eyes is still only cheating the 2 years by a couple
months J)!!!!
So that’s it. That’s
the story. J
My life has not turned out like I’d planned at all!! But I’m so thankful that God has sent me this
beautiful little girl to be my daughter and now a man who will be an incredible
husband and father. And that’s that. J
